*1
H.M.S. Erebus Hobarton, June 29. 1841.
(10 days after Mary's decease)*2
My dearest Mother
The letter you were so kind as to write to me on the 1st Feb[ruar]y arrived this day & was sent on board by Sir Jno Franklin. It is the first news of home that I have received since our arrival here (very early in Ap[ri]l), & though totally unprepared for the heavy news you communicate, still, so indelibly fixed on my mind is the remembrance of what my first letter brought, that however indescribably delightful is the sight of your well known handwriting, it was not without melancholy forebodings that I broke the seal. It was extremely kind in you to write, so soon after having sent such a budget as you describe by the Admiralty Bag. Nor can I tell you how comforting is even this news (bad though it is) when I reflect how much more promising it is than the still unarrived tidings must have been. I cannot bring myself to believe that dear Mary*3 is no more:-- nor to think that Pulmonary disease can have really attacked one whose eldest brothers lungs proved, after all, so sound: & whose remaining brother is as hardy & strong as anyone can be. Still, -- God's will be done! -- And should the result prove that your anticipations are well founded, I am quite prepared to receive the intelligence that, one after another, of the few persons whom I ever loved, are never to greet my return, -- nor to hear those little incidents recited of my travels, which I cherish solely with the hope of imparting them to those whose thoughts are so daily with

me as mine are with them. It is indeed hard to look, with the mind's eye to the fireside at home & to force myself to banish another form among the individuals for whose sake only I care to return:-- And to feel that though I shall be restored to the few that remain, as one brought back to what were five, -- there will be more cause for sorrow than rejoicing. It is thus that those pleasing anticipations of my return, which are so strongly fixed as far more than to counterbalance every difficulty & danger, are marred! And though in the hour of peril, -- the consciousness that there is one (though it should be but one person) who cares for you, is sufficient to cheer one up: still there are hours & days of quiet, when more is required to enliven -- & when, in spite of better resolutions, I am apt to repine against the wise decrees of Him who orders all for the best. Little did I think, when I was roaming over the wild hills of Ld Auckland's Isl[an]ds, & gathering the poor Albatrosses eggs to astonish her, that & when she & all the rest of you came before me, most distinctly, in my dreams, -- when I was beyond the pale of previous navigators, -- that she was then laid on a bed of sickness from which she would probably never rise. I always looked too much to the light side of things, & imagined her & Bessy*4 as the merry girls I left at Kensington & whose only sorrow was parting with their brother.
By a Newspaper of the 17th Feb[ruar]y, I see that our arrival in V.D. Ld is announced. I cannot wonder that long ere this you were anxious to hear of me. But by this time you must have rec[eive]d my letters: for I wrote 5 to Papa, one to you, two to Maria, & I think to

both my other sisters. The first 2, --(viz. to my father & Maria) were put on board a Ship going out of the Derwent[?] before we were moored;-- she carried no Mail Bag, but the capt[ai]n promised most faithfully to consign them to the post on reaching Engl[an]d. This was on the 17th Aug[us]t or thereabouts. How news of our arrival in Kerguelen's Land can have preceded our letters, I cannot conceive. Certainly the Erebus had no opportunity of sending the news; it is certainly just possible that the Terror, from whom we parted company, may have fallen in with a Whaler bound to V.D. Land, by which means Kay wrote to Lady Franklin. I however much doubt it, & shall enquire. I do not wonder at your surprize[sic] at not hearing from me on such an occasion. As it is, my first letters -- (written last Aug[us]t) must have had an extraordinarily long passage home; had it been only an average one answers might have been found on our arrival here -- in April --
The Admiralty Bags, so far as I can learn, did not come by the Hebe, which arrived here a fortn[igh]t ago: but have gone some how, to the China Fleet, including Capt[ain] Ross' despatches from Engl[an]d & many other expected letters &c. I am exceedingly glad they did not arrive before your letter which came today. Still I hope to pick them up at Sydney. I dote upon the latter part of your letter, & cannot but have the greatest hopes of dear little Mary's recovery: She is but now getting over her growth & a Jersey summer will quite restore her. You tell me to take care of myself:-- that I assure you, I do:-- much more, perhaps, than is needful, since this cruize[sic] has proved me quite hardy. Except a slight cold & its concomitant discomforts I have had nothing to complain & that has been since my arriving here. During all the time I was in

in[sic] the Southward I did not know an hour's illness of any kind whatever:-- the cold is healthy in the extreme & an occasional ducking of sea water proves rather beneficial. I always accustom myself to taking moderate exercise in hauling the ropes, setting sails, putting the Ship about &c. Thus my chest expands my arms get hard & the former rings almost when it is struck.
June 30th 1841
The idea of my father's obtaining Kew is highly gratifying to me & by your letter it seems almost a settled thing. Still, there are so many slips between cup & lip & Ministers are now I suppose so busy preparing for War, that the thing must proceed but slowly & I do not build much on their promises till they are fulfilled. The trouble & expense of the removal must be enormous, & I sincerely wish I were at home to take the management off him; as it is, if deferred much more than 12 months I doubt not to have a hand in the business. If any one deserves Kew, he certainly does for every reason: & when I return he will have plenty of work to put into my hands.
I need not tell you what this day is: nor will you suppose, but that I look upon it in two ways. It is certainly most pleasant to it know that those at home, who remain, are thinking of me, & wishing me many happy returns of this day, & happy ones they have hitherto been & the recollection of its many happy predecessors does call up the most delightful sensations. But when I look forward to what my future birthdays will probably be, I experience a sorrow hitherto unfelt on these occasions, & the possibility of whose occurrence was quite unheeded by me. Along with your letter, came a most kind & interesting one from Lady Aunt Palgrave. She is

so inseparably connected with the last glimpses I had of Maria, that I feel her to be one of our family. and when I tell you that this is not the first time she has made of accompanying your letters by some of her handwriting, you will not be surprized[sic] that I should hold her, as one of my dearest & kindest friends. Her house was always my home when in London & she a mother to me. I often think of the little sketchbook that she used to amuse me with & I cherish a picture which she gave me of Maria, beyond any thing.
Your former letters have doubtless told me all about Jersey. I hear a great deal of that Island from one of my messmates Yule, a most worthy fellow, whose father was one of Nelson's [1 word crossed out, illeg.] Lieutenants at Trafalgar, & a retired Commander. He has since died since his son left England & so I believe, has the mother too, though Yule has had no letter announcing[?] it & of course is ignorant of the fact. His family has left Jersey, but he is constantly talking of it & describes the climate as very beautiful & the scenery delightful:-- only the servants are bad (I hope you took your own); & the society of any individuals whom you may not have known before is to be eschewed. I would fain that the heavy expense my father must have incurred in removing you all there may be repaid. If you only tell me whereabouts the house you live in is situated, I dare say Yule will know all about it. It must be warmer than this place though here the Climate is delightful; only rather cold & rainy at the present season: it is most healthy, save to consumptive persons, who are carried off with appalling rapidity owing to the sudden changes of the atmosphere. I have often seen the Thermometer fall 10 degrees in an hour

during the daytime. I liked the steady cold of the Antarctic Circle much better, when the mercury never rose to 32º on the least cold day: though the weather here does not affect me at all. We were here before during the spring (August -- Oct[obe]r) when the days are clear & cloudless neither too hot nor too cold. Altogether this climate is preferable to that of Britain, much less rainy cold & damp: but then there are hot winds which are uncomfortable to a degree:-- often raising the Thermometer to above 100º.
The society is perfectly English & there is a marked line drawn between the children of Convicts, of Ticket of leave men & of Emancipated Convicts, & the offspring of honester individuals in however low a capacity these may have entered the Colony. Of the latter, most come hither as Hucksters & shopkeepers who gradually, or rather quickly, rising to affluence, now rank with the gentlemen of the Colony. Not but that there are still a great many men of education & worth, who brought their children out & their money too. The amount of property in the shape of money, Mortgages, Cattle, &c, is quite enormous: for there are many persons here with several hundred thousand pounds. All the Banks return 10 p[e]rc[en]t on money deposited. Literature is, however, at a very low ebb, & except a few English families there are none who take the better periodicals or would comprehend them if they did. There are lots of splendid Pianos & Harps, & few who can use them. 300 Copies of Gould's most extravagant book are purchased by these Colonists, solely for the pleasure of seeing the show of it on their Tables.
There is now a Ship working up the River & before evening she will have sent her Mails ashore. She is supposed to be the "Persian" from London & though you have written much to me lately,

I venture to hope she may bring me a letter, however short, that I may know how Mary is, especially as by the time she sailed March 1st, you must have received some of mine. *2 Should she have nothing for me, I shall hope for the best. At least, there will be some hope.
Since I arrived here, I have received 2 parcels of books from my father. One is a box & the other, which arrived very lately, via Sydney, is what Dr Johnstone should have brought, had it reached him before he sailed. I cannot thank my father too much for their contents, nor poor grandpapa for the German books for I see most of them are his. I am hobbling through this language by degrees & these new arrivals will be quite invaluable to me on my next cruize[sic] to the Southward. [Walter Hood] Fitch, too, has sent me a pretty Sketch of flowers -- for which token of friendship I thank him much, though I can make but a very unworthy return. While you were writing the letter just received, I was between 77º & 78 South, off the Burning Mountain & Victoria Barrier. The pleasure of having beaten the world then compensated all our toils & when rejoicing at being stopped by what must equally stop all future adventurers, I little thought that you were watching such beds of sickness. & that I, with least reason, was the happiest of the family.
By the time you receive this, I shall be near the Ice again; nor does the prospect look half so formidable as it did before being seen: like many objects of apprehension, it is not near so bad when known as it had appeared beforehand.

The enclosed is a cheque to repay my father for the books he has purchased. If there be any surplus, it is of no service to me, & I beg it may be used to provide anything wanted for my sisters or yourself:-- or indeed where it is most needed. I am sure you must want it & I shall be much grieved if you refuse to accept it.
I rejoice that my poor Grandfather is still spared & nothing will please me better than to see him with his great grandchild. Poor little thing! I hope she will grow up good & strong. And also that Isabella is a pleasant companion to poor Maria -- God bless you all & believe me y[ou]r most aff[ectionat]e son | (Signed) J.D. Hooker